obligatory but sincere ode to Pops

Thinking of the stereotypical Asian dad, I see a 5′6 solemn figure wearing the fatherly uniform of grey polo and khakis.  He is also sporting a thin lipped subtle frown, the kind that just barely registers a downward angle at the edges.  Not to say the guy is upset, that is just where his mouth naturally lands.  Clearly, his chin is pointed ever so slightly up as a constant reminder that he has been working and sacrificing longer than you have been alive.  He presents himself so that it is clear that beyond all else, he demands respect.  You are never required to agree or even understand his commands, all that is needed from you is blind obedience.

You’d have to look past that guy to see my pops.  My dad will be the one sneaking up behind the stereotypical Asian dad, we’ll call him SAD, you know just because it’s shorter.  Then he’ll try to surprise SAD with a sudden abrupt slap to the back. and easily laugh off SAD’s obvious mild annoyance.  With an arm around his shoulder, my pops would invite the guy to lunch even though he’s already said twice that he’s eaten.  He’ll also  be an easy one to pick out of the crowd of SAD’s because he is the only one whose teeth and gums you can see.

The greatest thing about my dad is he has never bought into the stereotypical serious man way of fathering.  Some guys will be all business all the time.  They won’t show open affection toward their kids because that just gets in the way of all the respect that they could be demanding.  Instead of ruling with an iron fist, his style is more like an open palm around the neck.  To this day, when I am driving with the guy he wants to hold my hand like I’m 8 and about to cross the street into oncoming traffic.  I must admit though sometimes, he does take it too far.

For the benefit of the doubt, Dad is not a native English speaker, but one day when he picked me up after school, he goes:

“Hey lover”

Gaping mouthed silence followed by “Dad, WHAT?!”

“What? I said hey lover.”

“NO Dad! No, that’s…that’s just not right.  You don’t say that to your kids.”

“What do you mean, I don’t get it.  Don’t you add -er for someone who does something.  You know, swim, swimmer.  Play, player?  I love you, soooooo lover. Right?”

This is where I stammered and just muttered an “Uh…”

He goes on, “Anyways, so lover where do you wanna eat?”

………………………………………………………………………………….

Love you too pops.

-ognut

brand new old car

So my beloved Accord died last week.  But God provides!

Friends, I just bought a new old car yesterday!  Celebrate with me! Kill the fatten calf!  Bring out the finest wine!  A brand NEW 96 civic, LX manuel trans with 130,000 miles.  Me and car-friend, haggled this guy down to $2,500.  A decent deal.

Anyway, I stalled this bad boy about 10 times last night on the way back from the dealer. There is nothing more emasculating than stalling  a car to a shaking haul while there are a line of honking cars behind you. Really…NOTHING.

So after a humbling drive home, I pulled into a walmart parking lot at 11pm and taught myself how to drive….again.