So if you didn’t happen to catch last nights Houston Rockets and Phoenix Suns basketball game, here is the um… “scuffle” that occurred:

The reason why I had to hesitate and use quotes to describe what had transpired is because well, I’m not really sure what just happened. It wasn’t quite a fight, but it was clearly more than just a disagreement (unless you’re my relatives fighting over the bill). And it’s not just me,  Yahoo Sports homepage uses the word “skirmish,” and the associated press described it as:

“… a fracas in the waning seconds of the third quarter that resulted in two ejections and seven technical fouls.”

Wait…what?  A fracas??

Fracas –noun. a noisy, disorderly disturbance or fight; riotous brawl; uproar.

Oh ok. You know someone hit shift+f7 to dig up that one.

So why the need to use such an unnecessarily descriptive word to describe what happened? Well after re watching the footage let me describe to you what I first saw, and then what really happened that warranted some creativity to describe what occurred. This is what I saw upon first seeing this live:

- Rafer Alston got elbowed and clearly wanted a piece of Matt Barnes.
- Everyone begins trying to pull everyone off each other.
- Steve Nash runs in and appears to be knocked to the ground and all hell breaks loose and people start falling all over the place.

After seeing the replay here is what really happened:

- Rafer Alston got elbowed and clearly wanted a piece of Matt Barnes.
(queue video to 1:20)
- Everyone begins trying to pull everyone off each other.
- Steve Nash runs in and slips on an imaginary banana before anyone touches him and runs into Rafer Alston
- Shaquille O’Neal sees Nash fall from the back, lumbers over, and proceeds to start shoving anything and everything wearing red to the ground while rumbling “Shaq Smash!!”

Can you spot sneaky shaq in mid shove?

Can you spot sneaky shaq in mid shove?

Yep. There was no fight. For some reason I find this hilarious because everything seemed gravy until Nash ran in and slipped on that invisible banana. Then Shaq, upon seeing this, went into Beast mode and like a bull, started shoving everything wearing red. First Tmac, then Yao (WHO WASN’T EVEN INVOLVED!), then he fixed his eyes on the crimson of Alston’s jersey. In fact he kept lumbering towards Alston even after he was separated, trying to swim through a sea of dark suits until they successfully blanketed themselves around Alston and took the sight of red out of his eyes.

It’s like Shaq is Steve Nash’s friendly giant who overreacts to seeing his little friend getting knocked down by bullies and then accidentally destroys the whole town while smashing all the bullies into the ground. Steve would then scold him while standing on Shaq’s hand, wagging his finger saying, “Now Shaq, I know you meant well, but you’re much bigger and stronger than everyone, you can’t go around destroying the whole town and smashing people into the ground every time I’m in trouble!” Shaq would then furrow his brow and scratch his head in a confused and disappointed look to which Steve would sigh and say, “Oh Shaq, you big goof, its ok! You’re my beeeeest friend!” and give him a great big hug that only wraps around Shaq’s pinky.

…

So that’s why it seems people are struggling to label what occurred. The initial rough elbow was a dirty play that was uncalled for, but not unusual, that resulted in confrontation. No big deal. Double Technical. Continue with the game. But once Nash fell down it became, well, the new word I learned today:

Fracas- noun. a disturbance that results in a 300+ pound, 7′1″ giant lumbering around, leveling everyone to the ground.

The red jerseyed victims of shaq's shovefest.

The red jerseyed victims of shaq

[Poon]