slankets/snuggies with colored print of the body of cartoon/popular characters.
patent pending.
I do not condone the use of slankets/snuggies.
I do condone making money.
Here are some proportionally incorrect pictures of the product:
please throw money at me now.
So the old textbook I was trying to sell on amazon ended up being sold within 5 hours of posting. High five! This also meant that I had to honor my incentive. So I did. It took me all of 4 minutes.
The following an email that I sent immediately after receiving the order:
Subject: Order information from Amazon seller gpspud20
Hello [name redacted], your order was received. The textbook Microbiology: An Introduction, 9th edition with limited edition Organic Molecule Yellow Cookie Monster (OMYCM) doodle on page 124 will be shipped shortly.
If you took care to read the seller’s comment, you would have noticed that by purchasing this book prior to 08/28/09 you are eligible to receive a PERSONAL sketch of OMYCM and YOU together. Please let me know what location, time of day, and preferred cameos you would like in your PERSONAL sketch. Though my artistic abilities know no bounds, I highly suggest a beach overlooking a beautiful sunset with cameos of the top half of sonic the hedgehog and a ninja turtle.
You are permitted to send me a head shot of yourself if you so desire for artistic accuracy (no creeper), otherwise you will have to settle for my own artistic interpretation of you.
You’re welcome.
-Tim
Unfortunately with no response, this was the email sent after the package was shipped:
Subject: Shipment notification from Amazon seller gpspud20
[name redacted],
Your order was shipped priority mail on August 26, 2009. You should be expecting to receive your order in 2-3 business days.
As you may or may not be aware, by making this purchase prior to Aug 28th you were eligible to receive a personalized sketch. I have inserted this piece of artwork along with the packing slip behind the front cover of the textbook. Please disregard the backside of this artwork, as it is leftover of an old printout of my homework. Thank you for your order and hope you enjoyed your purchasing experience.
enjoy:
oh i thought it was on a beach.. but i guess there could be some grass on a beach.
btw, you are ridic! that was amusing though it would have been more interesting if the buyer replied.
I am glad cookie monster finally found true love and kicked his addiction…
my amazon textbook sales pitch:
click to biggie size
There. That should get this product flying off the shelves. I’ll update on the status of this order once someone wises up and buys my book. Who WOULDN’T want a personalized drawing by yours truly?? I mean COME ON.
*Update*
For those of you that are wondering what Organic Molecule Yellow Cookie Monster (OMYCM) from page 124 looks like, here he is. Credit for the “cookie” thought bubble goes to Alice Lee.
om nom nom. me want donate electrons.
i’d like a portrait of dean cain please.
ohso1isa: i love seafood
…they are awful.
This is kind of old, but we talked about this in class so I found it online and thought it would be funny to share. These were written by students and submitted by high school english teachers for a 1999 Washington Post humor contest.
Enjoy!
-Poon
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
i vote for #16
Have you caught it yet?
No, not the flu. The paranoia! I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. Slowly and surely the fear of this new virus is chipping away at my normally cool and ruggedly handsome exterior. It’s already starting to affect my every day life, I mean, I’ve already washed my hands like 10 times! In the past week! wait that’s not a lot? interesting…
I’ve read that there’s this new tech tool that can track the chatter on social websites like twitter to determine swine flu outbreaks. This is GREAT! Gotta stay informed! Gotta stay on your toes! Nothing is as reliable as twitter, power to the people!
hang on. my computer is lagging cause it can’t catch up to the rate that I’m hitting refresh on the cdc website. ugh. hurry up…gotta stay informed. GOTTA STAY INFORMED!!! oh! another forward from my family with ways to prevent swine flu! yes! can’t read the same thing TOO many times!
Anyways, you can’t be TOO careful. Do it for the children. Won’t somebody please think of the children!!
Swine Flu- Ground Zero
OMG. SCREW CHILDREN. EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!
It’s the Aporkalypse! The end swines!! Eternal Hamnation! Stick a pork in us we’re done! We’re pigging our own graves! uh…hog….hogged….hogging… hogyea got nothin. that’s it.
[Poon]
p.s. In all seriousness, I found a great site that evaluates your symptoms and tells you if you have Swine flu. Check it out: http://doihaveswineflu.org/
p.p.s. In all real seriousness I hope no one I know gets swine flu and makes me regret writing this.
hahahahhahahahhhahahahhahahahhahaha
who would let their kid get close enough to lick a pig?
Hahaha Tim Poon – this was the funniest thing ever! 
6:52 PM Dan: i heard it was bad
me: what
i liked it
too much bleu penis
and it was long
the movie not the penis
Dan: haha
u didn’t have to explain
6:53 PM I just imagined you staring and your face reflecting blue
with your mout open
me: ….
wow
Dan: not in the sick way u doof
me: dude
how am i supposed to tkae that
Dan: watching the movie intently
6:54 PM me: rite
hahah
Dan: and blue reflecting off ur face
me: …of course
…
-Poon
you know for a sec i though you guys were talking about tracy’s wordpress.
Every 2-3 days, my dad comes into my room and starts ranting about how Obama is giving it to the rich. He actually says “people who play games” because that’s how my dad thinks of them as. He’ll talk talk talk about how Obama is starting a revolution. I think it’s awesome my dad is so into it. He has never voted in his life until he voted for Obama. He’s genuinely excited. It’s also great because he used to talk about how all black people are lazy and that’s why they are poor. He wasn’t hating them, he was stating it like a fact but somehow he’s over it now. I’m glad that part of him is a part of the past now. I guess I have Obama to thank. And there’s no doubt he’s shaking things up. I hope and pray with him that it is all for the better.
Obama4lyfe
-HH
*EDIT* Today me and my mom called my dad to go get dinner. He kept on saying ‘I know I know’ while he was watching the Obama speech. He was glued to the tv and didn’t come out to get his dinner until it was done. And it was galbi!! And I can’t remember another time where he was late to dinner. I am just in awe.
We love him, and think he’s an awesome guy. I love him too.
It’s funny how I can tell how screwed I am because it is directly proportional to how much I love music. The more I should be doing my work, the more I love listening to music, even my crappy songs. Then I start making my rounds on facebook and now here I am on the blog. Beautiful.
How do you guys know you are procrastinating? Music, TV, games, phone, holding yourself and shivering on the floor? Let’s hear it.
HandsomeHwang
um.. i have a tiered system. First, I go through ny times and national geographic. then i go to wedding blogs and ebay and etsy and other shopping sites. and then i start looking at like Glamour and OK! and Teen Vogue….. and after that, i finally realize how everything I’m reading is stupid and so I usually start working again.. but then of course the cycle is reborn.
Videos of people getting owned are fantastic. Yea maybe I’m a little bit of a sicko. However, after watching this, I must say that videos of people narrowly miss getting destroyed are even better. I mouthed the words ‘wow’ more than once during this video. Enjoy!
HH
every 3 minutes 450,000 rally car photographers are killed.
haha joe…
my favorite is the robbers…you’d think they would see the four guys in ski masks….
what happened with the tennis one…I don’t get it….
ognut 5:49 pm on November 14, 2009 Permalink |
i don’t understand, who is the first character? Barney?
Is the second picture the Flintstones?
Also, please provide another drawing using ninja turtles, based on the mock ups, I might commit as an investor.