I have a narrow worldview.  I mean this not in the sense that I feel like I am ignorant about whats going on around the world.  I mean granted, I am.  I once had to look up what state Philadelphia is in.  Pennsylvania…right?  But that’s besides the point.  What I mean is that my perceptions are completely defined by my experience and my experience alone.

Six years ago, you could not possibly tell me differently that I was not the most talented Super Smash Bros player to walk the earth.  And not just at the time, but rather in all of history.  Keep in mind, this is the Gamecube version.  That N64 version was trash.  But the Gamecube version; I felt untouchable.  And I was, at least among the 10 people I had played with.  Turns out, opponent number 11 transcended time, space, and this world because I was quickly and roughly and thoroughly rocked.

So recently, I got a new car.  A new whip, if you will.  When I’m driving in this thing, I feel absolutely so cool.  We’re talking Kanye West, Kobe Bryant, and Lupe Fiasco have posters of me on their bedroom wall-cool.  So clearly it’s a Beemer, Porsche, or Aston Martin here.  No.  My new ride is a hand-me-down 2000 Nissan Maxima.  Decent condition, couple of bumps and rough patches here and there.  I have modestly named her Maureen.  You know, she might have been real cute in her day, but time has made her plain.

But you have to understand that my last car, although I loved her, was in one sorry state.  I believe in the end, only two of the windows worked and only one of the rearview mirrors. But it was all good because it matched the one headlight.  On the up side, I always got a good workout with every turn because my power steering was out.  Imagine, parallel parking.  Think me, straining and pulling, grunting and heaving, and having the wheel turn, oh, about half an inch.

So, I couldn’t be any more smug when I’m behind the wheel of Maureen.  I’m in full deluded gangster mode.  The seat is clearly as far back as possible.  I can only have one hand on the steering wheel at any given time.  When you see me, you might just hear “Whatchu know about that” by T.I. and see just my head turn slowly to face you.  With the left eye brow slightly arched, upper lip barely curled, I’d give you one solid head nod.

Alright, it’s not a Lambo or a Ferrari.  But listen, my alignment is dead on.  And check it, when it rains, my wipers work.  And yes, it is just a mid-sized sedan.  But I am so ecstatic about it because I have a narrow world view.  And, sometimes, that can be a good thing because it keeps you down-to-earth and capable of enjoying simple things.

-frankiet