some wisdom

1. in case any of you guys are wondering if it is ok to just flush a banana peel down the toilet, it is not. it will clog your toilet.

2. if you ever try it anyways, make sure you remember to unclog it before you poop.

You are welcome.

sold and shipped!

So the old textbook I was trying to sell on amazon ended up being sold within 5 hours of posting. High five! This also meant that I had to honor my incentive. So I did. It took me all of 4 minutes.

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Subject: Order information from Amazon seller gpspud20

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Hello [name redacted], your order was received. The textbook Microbiology: An Introduction, 9th edition with limited edition Organic Molecule Yellow Cookie Monster (OMYCM) doodle on page 124 will be shipped shortly.

If you took care to read the seller’s comment, you would have noticed that by purchasing this book prior to 08/28/09 you are eligible to receive a PERSONAL sketch of OMYCM and YOU together. Please let me know what location, time of day, and preferred cameos you would like in your PERSONAL sketch. Though my artistic abilities know no bounds, I highly suggest a beach overlooking a beautiful sunset with cameos of the top half of sonic the hedgehog and a ninja turtle.

You are permitted to send me a head shot of yourself if you so desire for artistic accuracy (no creeper), otherwise you will have to settle for my own artistic interpretation of you.

You’re welcome.

-Tim

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Subject: Shipment notification from Amazon seller gpspud20

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[name redacted],

Your order was shipped priority mail on August 26, 2009. You should be expecting to receive your order in 2-3 business days.

As you may or may not be aware, by making this purchase prior to Aug 28th you were eligible to receive a personalized sketch. I have inserted this piece of artwork along with the packing slip behind the front cover of the textbook. Please disregard the backside of this artwork, as it is leftover of an old printout of my homework. Thank you for your order and hope you enjoyed your purchasing experience.

————– End message ————————

limited time offer!

my amazon textbook sales pitch:

click to biggie size

There. That should get this product flying off the shelves. I’ll update on the status of this order once someone wises up and buys my book. Who WOULDN’T want a personalized drawing by yours truly?? I mean COME ON.

Amazon.com

*Update*

For those of you that are wondering what Organic Molecule Yellow Cookie Monster (OMYCM) from page 124 looks like, here he is. Credit for the “cookie” thought bubble goes to Alice Lee.

om nom nom. me want donate electrons.

Midnight Delusions? or GREATEST IDEA EVER!

OK so. while im on this incredible high that is my GENIUS.

I was surfing around youtube last nite (ok. 4 am) and watching vids when it suddenly dawned on me in a totally unrelated (crazy?…bah semantics) way.

I want to get a Ukulele. See, its brilliant in so many ways. Its pretty cheap, Its small and portable, it shouldn’t be too hard to learn with guitar experience, and its just totally sweet.

This is a pretty decent one and its about 70 dollars. not bad?

This ones a more ballin one that I am def not ready to commit to:

OK so thats not where it gets brilliant. So what am I going to do with a uke once i get it? ready?

…im gonna start a band.

A marginalized instrument band. That’s rite. Im gonna get together all those instruments that were given that cockeyed glance and looked down upon by “real” instruments and we are going to unite. and ROCK!

BAND SLOTS ARE OPEN AND AUDITIONS ARE NOW BEING ACCEPTED. ACT FAST TO CLAIM YOUR SPOT. MUSICAL SKILL NOT NECESSARY BUT ENCOURAGED. POSITIONS TO BE FILLED ARE AS FOLLOWS:

BAND INSTRUMENTS
Lead Ukulele: Poon
Harmonica: Dan Lee
Keytar with Synth Drums: TBD
Recorder: TBD
Triangle/Cowbell: TBD
OTHER INSTRUMENTS OPEN TO SUGGESTION

Possible band names include: The Marginalized Five, Dorkus Melorkus, and The Tim Poon High Five Auditory Experience (Hi5 for short).

AGAIN ACT FAST CAUSE WE ARE GOING TO BE HUGE. AND WE ARE GOING TO ROCK. LIKE SO HARD.

PEACE,
[Poon]

(all comments/suggestions/applications: post in official band discussion forum in comments below.)